So What Is A “Love Less” Marriage And How Is It Defined Read On….
Today there are so many people that want to know how to cope and stay in a loveless marriage.
Many people have different perspectives and perceptions of what a loveless marriage is or lacks.
So what is a loveless marriage? There are people who think it means sexless, to others it may be the type of relationship that will lack intimacy and closeness.
There may well be intercourse or sex, but the emotional closeness that typically exists between married couples is just not there for whatever reason on the part of at least one of the parties. The couple will go through the motions without the emotions behind it.
Sometimes people chose to stay in a loveless marriage because they have children and they don’t want to put the children through a divorce. In other instances there could be the financial burdens or limitations that will stop you from walking away.
And there are people who will stay due to the commitment to the marriage. Some believe that marriage should be forever, and do their best to make it work.
There are strategies that you could use to cope with these type of marriages which I will touch on again. But it is important that you do realise that you do not have to live this way.
You can turn a marriage without love completely around with a little bit of effort, openness, and patience.
Don’t Define Your Marriage Based On Others’ Expectations:
First off, I hate the phrase “loveless marriage.” Because this almost implies that there never was any love between the spouses or that there never will be. This perception is limited and does little to help the cause.
It would be better to see that your marriage is experiencing a rough patch which is showing a lack of intimacy.
This is not to say that you cannot reignite the feelings of love. When you make assumptions it will create problems and will not resolve anything for you.
Also, don’t worry so much about what others think or expect. Your marriage is your concern and nobody elses.
Tthe media likes to portray relationships where we should be all over each other all the time, where this is not the case.
With that said, most married couples do have a bond and a commitment that binds them which is based on shared feelings of intimacy, closeness, and understanding.
If these components are lacking doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with you. All this signifies is that you do have work to do.
Vow to close out the outside world and not to worry about other’s expectations of what should make you happy in your marriage.
Only you and your partner can decide this. Don’t allow others to make you feel that you lack or do something else or please others.
Define what you and your spouse need to be happy and to feel connected and concentrate only on that.
Why You (And Your Family) Deserve So Much More Than A Loveless Marriage:
Many people stay in this type of marriage because they think that it’s the best thing for the kids or because they “don’t want to hurt anyone.”
But, if you think that your children or your spouse don’t catch onto the fact that something is lacking, you’re probably mistaken.
Children are very aware and when parents do not demonstrate affection or a close bond they are modeling the type of marriage that your children when they grow up will have.
Counselors say that the greatest gift that you can give any child are two parents who love each other and are happy. Does sound cliche, but it does have some foundation to it.
You and your partner are role models constantly demonstrating how to live, interact and connect to your children. They do grow up and will know only what they have observed.
They will sense and see other households that are different to theirs but they will live similarly to you. At the very least, they will have been affected by growing up in a home that lacks laughter and love.
This is to inform you only and there is no reference to your child rearing ways. This is to inform you that your intentions are honorable, but they may be not healthy for your children as hoped for.
Turning around a marriage that is loveless. There is a possibility that you choose to read this article as you could be going through the motions of not having intimacy. It is a habit and you can break it.
Somebody has to make the first move. Since you care then let it be you. You may feel quite vulnerable and hesitant to be the one to initiate this, but it’s better than just hoping that things will get better without being proactive.
There are two choices. Honesty with your partner, where you can talk and discuss the lack of intimacy and work through to change things.
It is important that you make it mutually beneficial and fun, so keep it light and upbeat when you have this conversation.
Or you can start the change yourself with your own actions. Wanting to make the change is a very positive action to take which you can take control yourself.
It will be up to you to start to make more intimate gestures. It is advisable to start in small ways first.
You can send loving glances, brush hands or initiate spontaneous laughter. Do not put pressure onto yourself and do go slowly.
But, over time, your goal is to slowly improve things so that physical touch and emotional closeness don’t feel so foreign and awkward.
While these small changes unfold in your marriage it is important that you do look into yourself for your own fulfillment and happiness. In short, you can’t give what you do not have.
You can not be lighthearted and playful with your partner if you’re depressed or not fulfilled within your own heart.
It is best if people focus on what actually makes them happy as a person, then all will fall into place and the outcome is a happier couple.
You will be open to receiving any pleasure and you will be able to give and take as you have learned to be responsible for and participate in your own happiness.
This is to say you will not require your partner to give you this, but you will set it in a way that they can enjoy it with you.
It was my husband, not me, who felt that our marriage was “loveless,” so he threatened to end it. Within myself I knew that it wasn’t over and I did refuse to give up.
There for a long period of time I drew on the negative emotions and not the positive ones. This seriously backfired.
Thankfully, I realized my tactics were not working and changed course. Eventually, I was able to not only restore my husband’s love, but to change the dynamics of our marriage.
If you are seeking more information you can go to www.selfgrowth.com