5 Things Every Guy Wants From A Woman

“SHE SAYS” by Heather Juma

Here are five things a guy wants from his girl. Want the guy in your life to be blissfully happy? Read on…

He wants to be himself. Why are women always trying to change the men in their lives? He thinks he’s cool the way he is, so accept him for his quirks instead of viewing them as “faults”.

Accept his relationship with his friends. Allow him the space and freedom to hang out with his firends even if you don’t approve of them. They can’t be all bad if he chose them, right?

Don’t expect him to share everything in his life with you. He might not feel the need to share secrets or confidences with others, don’t expect him to. Are you going to share every detail of your best friend’s life with him? Don’t expect the same of him, he’ll share what he wants.

Give him space. If he wants to go out with his friends or visit his parents without you, let him, this shows how much you respect him and trust him. Trust and respect are important.

Support him and his decisions. If he takes a risk and no one else believes in him be there as a confidant and support system. Lend an ear whenever he wants to talk about his hopes and dreams, believe in him and support him.

Follow these 5 simple steps and your guy will love you forever!

3 Things Men Need From Women

” He Says” By Phil Gilliam

I know you are thinking that the three things he needs from you are dinner made, allowed to watch TV, and SEX! But, you are wrong. He may want those things from you, but he does not need them.

The three things he needs from you are to be respected, admired/adored, and to have a sense of control in the relationship. Now before you get any ideas, I do not mean control over you. I’ll get into what I’m talking about later in this post.

I will start with respect. When the two of you first started dating it is likely that the sun and the moon rose and fell in his eyes for you. It is also likely that even as far out as his dreams and desires were, you would at least listen with eager anticipation for the outcome, but if you are lacking respect for him now it is typically about the lack of fulfillment or follow through on those dreams and aspirations, big and small. He longs for that sense of respect from you above all others. It will come out in what he says and how he carries himself.

Your respect, above all others, is a powerful measure for him. If he is unable to maintain respect from his mate; who can he hold and receive respect from? On the flip side of that coin; if he has your respect he will shine and be willing to take on the world.

Admiration/Adoration is the reward and gift you give him. How you show your appreciation for his contributions. I can always tell when a woman is lying to me about how happy she is in her relationship by simply asking her to tell me about him. I am not overly concerned with what she is telling me, but with her eyes. If they sparkle and her face lights up when she speaks of his accomplishments for himself, her, and the family, big or small, then I know that they have fire in their relationship. If she has no spark, even though she may be saying that he is a good man and provides for the family, she does not have a passionate relationship with him.

Sense of control. As I said when I first introduced this to you, control has nothing to do with being controlling. Remember, I have talked about the masculine and the feminine (I must comment that those two have nothing to do with gender) and the primitive brain that we all have. Being in control and having a sense of self motivated direction is a powerful driver for men. It is the driver that compels men to want to strive to the next level whatever that level is for him. It is the alpha male mentality that drives him to have a sense of control in his life, then he can lead and protect.

I spend a great deal of time educating our clients on the difference between being in control of himself and his responsibilities, and wanting to control others. For the sake of this post, please understand that I am by no means promoting controlling behavior; no person has the right to control another’s actions of behavior…PERIOD.

I also coach the men I work with on the other side of this coin, the fact that you must feel valued, cherished/adored, and most importantly safe emotionally and physically now and always.

The hard part on both sides of this equation is the fact that no two people translate these three things the same. What is respect to one man is not to another. What is feeling valued to one woman is not to another and so on.

The best part of this knowledge is that if both sides of the partnership are working to provide the other with the three items they need, then you will be building an upwards spiral of support, passion and happiness.

For now, take some time to write down all of the reasons you respect and admire your man, and what he does in the household or your world that is his and within his sphere of control. Please use this list as a positive, not as a tool to figure out what he should be doing.

Contact Phil @  Average Guy Help

Forgive Us Poor Men, We Know No Better

“He Says” By Phil Gilliam

My name is Phil Gilliam and I am a coach and author and specialize in working with men and their relationships with women. Heather asked me to help with your education in the mysteries of men and relationships. I couldn’t be more honored.

I thought I would start the same way I start with my clients; a history lesson. I will keep it short and entertaining. Over the past fifty years or so an amazing sociological change has been in motion and rightly so, women have been taking their right to be treating and viewed as equals in the work place and even in the home. Do I agree and support this mission? ABSOLUTELY!

I however, do have an opinion. It is my opinion that in the same time frames men mistakenly translated the request of women to be allowed to play on a level playing field to men accommodating and elevating women. Therein, is one of the biggest issues in relationships today.

You see men, just as you, learn from role models and mentors. The problem is that our role models meaning our fathers, male influences, our mothers, TV, and pop culture is either working from outdated material or fiction. Now without going into great detail, I would say it is pretty obvious with the divorce rate so high and the amount of anti-depressants we as a culture consume, that our role models on both sides of the genders, as a whole missed the mark a bit.

Now, women have been marching right along; you are doing your best to succeed in the work place and in the home, but if men are working off of a 1950’s model of relationships and doing better in his eyes than the bumbling idiots on sitcoms and reality TV, then he may believe that he is doing his job well. He works, he provides, and he comes home just like his dad or grandpa or maybe even better. If he didn’t have the male in the family around he is following the instructions of his mom who said to be home and support your family. He thinks he is doing well.

Think of the time and energy men put into their education or trade, and the training available for him to be a successful supporting member of our society. The resources and social pressures to be a success are off the charts, but I often ask, after men have spent the better part of 16 years learning to be a success, how many times in that period were we coached or directed to learn about how to deal with the relationships we desire in the time between the hour we get home and sleep? None. We are even social programmed as men to not talk about relationships.

You see someone forgot to send out the memo to us poor men, that in today’s world that model is only playing a quarter of the game. Women are working and supporting the family too and unfortunately still being asked to carry all of the responsibilities of what was called “woman’s work.”

Women as a whole are taking on so many more of the masculine traits, whether by choice or necessity, and quite frankly most guys don’t know what to do with that. At work women are making the decisions and having to maintain control, at home they are making decisions and managing the household and the list goes on, but the point is that men really don’t understand how to deal with it or that those issues are impacting the relationship, and in my opinion, women don’t want to always have control of every situation. Women want to have the ability to be lead when the need arises, and supported when that is desired. Women want to have a man who is willing to take the role he promised to support and grow in that role as the relationship progresses. Again, most men are oblivious to what that means and even if they did they would be unsure of how to fulfill it.

Evolutionary psychologists regularly remind us that the short period of time we have been living in a “civilized” society is only a fraction of the time compared to the millions of years humans have been in existence all religions and religious arguments aside. That being said, there is some basic hard-wiring in both men and women’s brains that demand that we have a balance for the security and survival of the family and ourselves. With that kind of hard-wiring and the social changes that are moving at the speed of broadband; men are unfortunately oblivious to the issues at hand. Yes, that may be by choice, but oblivious just the same.

Most men really do not realize that in surrendering their masculinity whether by choice or ignorance they are creating the very issues in the relationship that they don’t want to have happening. Contrary to popular belief men are not trying to cause fights or create reasons for you to be upset or as I call it “constructively criticize” him.

There is more to this history lesson and I promise I will expand on these issues in future postings, but will close with this. On behalf of my brothers, I ask for forgiveness, not that it is not our responsibility to learn and grow to have our relationships be a success, it is that most of us are oblivious to the fact that there is a problem. In this case ignorance is not bliss!

Contact Phil @ Average Guy Help

The Secret To Finding Mr. Right

At Wealth, Success and Women we believe in living the life of a successful woman entrepreneur. We also know that while earning your own income and being self-sufficient, you need someone to share the good life with.We know the secret to finding your soul mate and her name is Karen Kripalani.

Karen has cracked the code. She knows how to find your soul mate and get married–all within a year! For all of the women out there laughing right now, to prove this position, Karen has actually done it herself and knowing that she has most definitely unlocked some secret chamber no other woman knew existed, she has decided to share her secret with women everywhere.

Karen is writing her first book, Manifest, The Secrets of How to Attract Your SoulMate and Get Married Within a Year! In this tell all tale, she will explain to women about her intention to find Mr. Right and actually finding him. She met her wonderful husband, Michael, married him shortly thereafter, and the two of them have been living on Cloud Nine ever since. She will explain how she did it and how you can, too.

Karen Kripalani is a very successful businesswoman who has worked extensively in the film industry as an actress and director. (Karen Grosso) She is also a professional photographer and television spokeswoman for Canon. Karen has a successful coaching practice, one of her areas of expertise is relationship coaching. She helps women find “Mr. Right” and her clients are having incredible success.

So if you’re tired of searching for the man of your dreams in all the wrong places, contact Karen Kripalani and you’ll be sure to be with the love of your life in no time.

You can visit Karen’s website at Beauty Everywhere.

What Women Need In A Relationship

“She Says” by Heather Juma

What’s a girl really want from that special guy in her life? We heard Phil tell us what a guy needs, and yes in spite of our beliefs to the contrary his list didn’t include food, sex and absolute and total control over the remote!

So here’s what a girl needs … a guy who will listen, not a guy that will just nod his head, say “um hm” or grunt every two minutes, and then swear up down five minutes later that “you never told me that”. We really want guys to listen, to understand us and take what we have to say seriously, not just tune us out and pretend they’re listening to us.

Girls want romance! We would love to be swept off our feet now and then! Hey guys surprise us, do something romantic! It doesn’t have to be fancy, leave a love note on our pillow, snuggle on the couch with us, bring home a bag of our favorite cookies. Something simple, spontaneous and most of all something that shows that you took the time to think about us in the middle of your busy day.

Ask us about our dreams for our lives. Again listen to what we have to say, believe in us, encourage us, support us. Be the “cheerleaders” in our lives, tell us how proud you are of us when we accomplish a goal or have a “win” in our lives. Be 100% supportive even if things don’t go as planned. Have “our back”, we need you there with us as we strive to be “all” that we can be.

So what’s a girl need? Love, Respect and Understanding.

Send A Love Note

Want to make the guy in your life swoon?  Send him a love note.  Put simple little notes in unexpected places: in his briefcase, on his pillow, on the visor in his car.  These simple little notes are a special gesture that show him how much you care, they’re fun and spontaneous and you’ll be on his mind all the time.

Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places?

Ladies!  Are you looking for “Mr. Right” in all the wrong places?  Are you spending your weekends hanging out in the typical bar scene?  Hmmm… let’s see is that really the place to meet “Mr. Right”?

I have a better idea for you!  Make a list of your hobbies and passions.  What do you do in your free time?  Love Tennis?  You might meet your perfect “match” at the local tennis club.  Love wine?  Go to wine tastings and join gourmet foodie groups.  You get the hint!

Think of all the fun you’ll have meeting lots of other people and making new interesting friends while enjoying your hobbies and passions, that will take your mind off “looking for Mr. Right” and then he’ll probably show up (funny how that works)!