When you finely realize that you have to make that big decision to let go because you thought you felt in love and you know now more than ever that it was not love, rather you saw that all you ever were was great friends and now it does make it that much harder for you to turn around and tell your partner that you want to let go of the relationship. Or sometimes it is in reverse where your partner thought they felt in love with you and find that it just is not there and they call it quits with you.
So if this is happening to you, and you are on the receiving end, then it is best to be on your own rather than be with someone that does not feel love for you. It is that much better to let go than hang on to something that is not there. If you have heard these words “I thought I felt in love with you, but I don’t and its best we part” well this can be painful if you are still in love with them. It is far better to accept that a breakup is better and that leaves the door open for you to experience real love with someone else.
How to deal with a breakup where your partner does not feel the love for you no more.
The best way that you can deal with a situation like this is to accept it with grace, and rather than beg and plead for the other person to stay with you, respect the fact that they chose to be honest with you rather than hanging in there just to make you feel happy because they feel guilty as they do not love you, this of course would only lead to resentment and more pain so it is better that they were upfront with you.
So what you need to do now of course shed the tears of pain, and do not see it as betrayal as we are all free to love who ever we want and you can never force anyone to love you! Sure they chose to be in a relationship with you, but they realized that the love was just not there. So if you have a really good think about it all you would not like to stay with someone that you do not feel the love for, or you thought you felt in love and realized that it wasn’t that after all. It is only natural to want out. But it is good to part without resentment and arguments rather acceptance and understanding. Over time you will heal, and this is where you need to know that you are still a very loveable person and that someone will fall in love with you and stay with you because you mean so much to them. To help yourself to deal more effectively try and follow what is listed below.
- Acceptance of the situation and respect the fact that your ex was honest enough to tell you how they really felt
- It is better to be by yourself rather than someone that does not have the “loving feeling” for you.
- Take time to help yourself, this is where you can write a journal or write out your pain on paper, and what is more important that you understand that you still are a beautiful person that is loveable.
- Build up your self confidence and self esteem, simply by valuing yourself and loving yourself that you are strong enough to move on.
- Leave your heart open to love again and let go of any fears you may have that “history might repeat itself”
- All relationships are a journey to be experienced and sometimes they only last for a time and sometimes they last the journey for your entire life!
- Have an appreciation that you are now free to find someone that you can love and they will love you in return. (PS when you do find that special someone that will turn your world upside down in a positive way you will be grateful that your ex was honest with you, otherwise you would have missed out on experiencing a great relationship with this person!)
- Meditate to rejuvenate
- Start an exercise program, or start walking, swimming, yoga or dancing.
- Get involved with friends and go socializing again
- Stay positive in your thoughts
- Write a list of qualities that you seek in your future love partner
- Stay focused that you will find and have a great relationship with someone one day!
It is far better to accept rather than to argue, fight and say hurtful things to your ex partner, it is far better to have an appreciation for honesty. Of course it is painful, but time is a healer, the most important thing here is that you do not start to think silly thoughts such as that you are not “good enough” of course from there your thoughts can spiral out and you will only create a dark void for yourself. So stay positive appreciate that you can still be friends, more so that you are no longer in a loveless relationship with the other person. These things happen in life and you are not the only person that has experienced this!