8 Rules For Dating The Ex

Dating the ex

Dating the ex

Well you have finely got your ex back you are happy excited and feeling elated, sure you share a history together so there is so much more to the dating game when you are dating the ex.

This is where you do need to understand what rules will help you with dating your ex again, as this time round you just want things to go right and make it a positive experience which will help you get your ex back for good.

1. Emotional availability

When you experienced the break up there was a lot of anger, hurt, and regret, now you fear that you could end up going through this again with them as you have started to date your ex again.

If you are still experiencing neediness, insecurity, desperation, guilt, anger, jealousy, revenge thoughts then this might not be a wise move for you to make. Acknowledge that you are still feeling this way and you know that all it will end up is with arguments. It is far better to tell your ex that you are still dealing with the pain of the breakup but you would like to still see them but not to discuss the breakup with you.

The amount of time and effort it takes for each person to once again become emotionally available differs according to the time and effort each wastes ranting, raving, stalking, moping around and missing their ex.

2. Honesty with oneself and the relationship  

This is well known that before anyone can love you, you must be able to love yourself. So prior to getting in touch with your ex remember nothing will work without love for yourself.

When you love yourself you start to value yourself as a person, and realize your worth and this is where your confidence will come into play. You will be able to be assertive without appearing pushy, needy, or aggressive. When you show that you are self assured, confident, and do care about yourself, this will shine through and your ex will admire you all the more for this. You will become attractive.

3. Personal responsibility for your part in the break up

It takes two people to tango so do realize that you did in some shape or form contribute to the problems in your relationship whether it was in a small way or a big way, do take ownership of your mistakes. If you continue to blame your ex partner then when will you be able to have a peaceful and loving relationship with someone

But if you choose to be honest then you will admit that you erred and make amends. This will help you break free from the past and all painful emotions that you have been holding on to.

4. Take it one step at a time

It is pointless to feel that you can go full steam ahead with your ex, he could be checking the waters with you to see if there is change or things will only get better, sure he still has a lot of love for you, but you know and he knows that the past relationship you were in together was not working.

It is far better to have an enjoyable time together out dating again and do so as friends, this is a better option for both of you, after all he might not have changed and is happy to stay in his set ways. By going slowly it will give you both time to reconsider and to understand each other better. After all there are still issues that need to be resolved before you want to resume a relationship with them.

5. Create a bigger and better relationship

Don't try to create the same relationship again, instead create one that is better than the old one. It is bad news if you try and start a new relationship with your ex where the old one ended.

To true the chemistry is still there, the love is still burning a bright flame, but you want to establish a more healthy and loving relationship, rather than trying to fix and old relationship, it is far better to create a new relationship. You both have been through so much so it is better that you both travel this journey.

6. Re establish an emotional connection

With each contact that you have with your ex see it as an opportunity to make an emotional connection. Even if it is for a short moment. Simply by being attentive and listening to him, what he is talking about such as his life, feelings, needs, hopes, fears, embarrassments, expectations secrets etc and then asking them how it impacts them this helps to create emotional intimacy. When this is done what actually happens is your partner will feel that they have been heard, validated and cared for.

7. Focusing on the positive

It is important that you let go of the negative and start to focus on the positive. If you choose to bring up unhappy memories etc this will defeat your purpose in getting your ex back for good. It is far better to sit back and enjoy each others company, there is plenty of time to address issues. This is also where you will have to resolve them in a positive light without accusing or abusing your ex.

8. Do not assume ask for clarity.

Do not assume anything, always seek to understand and be understood, it is far better to get something clarified than to be left in the dark. It is pointless to sit there and have a great time with your ex and assume that he is also having the time of his life. It is far better to put forward to them if they are enjoying themselves etc.

In regards to outstanding issues it is far better that you resolve them in a way that both are understood, and that both are willing to clarify anything that is not understood.

This is important to be able to do this as it indicates that you are both willing to resolve things between you rather than taking each other for granted.


When you choose to start dating your ex again it can be difficult, but in time if both are seeking a relationship that is healthy and happy, then it can be done. Many couples do go through break ups and then start dating each other again. So if the love is there then it is worth striving to make it a better relationship second time round.

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